Best Divorce Lawyers in Minnesota: None at all

December 14 Dan's Blog, Divorce in Minnesota, Family Mediation, Mediation vs. The Law, Lawyers, and Courts

The best divorce lawyer in Minnesota is no lawyer at all.  In very rare and extreme cases, they may be helpful, but the vast majority of the time family lawyers do more harm than good.  There are far better ways to deal with conflict with your spouse. If you disagree with your spouse about parenting, child support, spousal maintenance or property division, adding lawyers to the situation generally makes those disagreements worse.

Divorce lawyers see it as their job to get the best possible deal for you. but their efforts usually backfire. When you start working with a divorce lawyer in Minnesota, he or she will form an opinion about what you are “entitled to”.  When you or your lawyer tell your spouse what you believe you’re entitled to, your spouse naturally starts to feel as if they are being threatened.  When you say to your ex “the law says I’m entitled to this”, it’s as if you’re also saying “if you don’t like it, I might have my lawyer get a judge to force you to do it anyway.  What you want doesn’t matter.  I’m going to use the legal system to force you to do what I want.”

Your spouse naturally gets defensive and, worst case scenario, hires their own lawyer. And their lawyer always has a different opinion about what the law says about your case.  That lawyer says, “I can’t believe your spouse and their lawyer are demanding that – that’s not what the law says.”  Your spouse naturally then becomes outraged that you’re trying to hurt them in ways that the law doesn’t even support.  They naturally think “I just want what’s fair, but I apparently can’t trust my spouse anymore – I guess I have to rely on my lawyer and follow my lawyer’s advice on how to get something fair.”  Your lawyer responds by saying to you “wow, your spouse is playing hardball. . . I’m not the type of lawyer who creates conflict. . . but in this case, we need to defend you.”

And off you go.  I know of couples in Minnesota who have spent more than $1,000,000 on lawyers.  And those couples are absolutely never happy with what all those attorney fees bought them.  They’ve bought a lifetime of resentment toward and from their ex, and they have done serious psychological damage to their kids.  Other, luckier, couples spend only $20,000 to $30,000 on their lawyers that was totally unnecessary and gave them months and months of unnecessary stress.

You can rise above that system.  You can take control of the situation.  You can get clear about what you want, talk to your spouse about what they want, and continue to talk through any disagreements.  I can help with that.




What do you think?